I'm just rambling.......

This is my there's no good direction, pity post for today - you've been warned.
I'm sad for all my on-line friends. There was a number of us who had late second tri losses around the same time in March. We were all very active members of the PL board and over the last few months they've disappeared. I know its hard to see people come and go so quickly from the board and be stuck there - it sucks. A number of the girls have been blessed to get pg quickly and are over halfway done (or more!) there are a few of us that are still hanging out waiting for our turn - its so unfair. These women deserve healthy happy babies just like everybody else and it hurts me every month to know that there are other people out there going through the same kind of pain I am. Its so strange to have such an intense desire for someone you never have met IRL to have a successful pregnancy. I think it just shows how women may be catty we can really be there for each other.
Not to mention a few of them have gotten PG again and then m/c'd. As someone who has gone through that same scenario - all I can say is it so cruel. Its just not right. These women have been tested and pushed beyond anything anyone should ever have to endure.
another thing that I realized last week was people who had healthy babies the same time I had Addison are trying again! some of them have had early miscarriages and are showing up on my boards! I can't even fathom it. I should have a 10 month old. I should be happy and sleepless on the weekends. I should have been playing at the park yesterday instead of tying a heart around Addy's memory tree.
I did just see a PFB post from one of the girls and that gives me immense hope that I'll have a turn soon. But according to my RE this month is out for us:( I went to the RE today for a cyst check. Everything came back OK. I have my SHG scheduled for Wed. am. Its my last actual procedure before our meeting to discuss our plan. Its frustrating because we started the process over three months ago and because my cycles coincided with his vacation time I never got in to see him.
Oh yeah, if I got PG this month; my due date is October 31 - why do I torture myself!